2 Peter 1

To become like the Lord and have charity is a process that starts with "giving all diligence."

Diligence is steady, consistent, earnest and energetic effort in doing the Lord's work. (I think that's in Preach my Gospel)

"Giving all diligence" is a beautiful phrase--it's more than simply being or having. It indicates a more generous and real desire to do the Lord's work.

Verse 8: For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren no unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Such a gracious promise, our mortal attempts to have these Christlike qualities will lead us to a fruitful knowledge of him. We will know of him because we will be like Him.

Grammie's 80th Birthday

I know I've used this picture before. But it's the only one I have on my computer right now.

There is no Grammie cuter than this.

She turned 80 years old on March 27th, and our family flew down to Cali to celebrate with her. There was a family party, of course, with food (the main attraction), the dice game, and presents. She got a Bose stereo and an iPod dock as a group gift. She also got some cds, clothes (she has a friend whose daughter is Jennifer Anniston's personal shopper...I know!), and I can't remember what else. It was fun to be there with her and see just how many people love and appreciate her. It was also nice to spend time with my mom's side of the family.

Sister Brown was there and she told us the reason she loves Ellie so much. Grammie was a nurse and very often throughout her life has found herself taking care of friends and family when they were sick. She even came to take care of me when I had my back surgery. Anyway, Brother Brown was in the hospital and Grammie had come to sit with him a while, and give the family a little time to rest. He was doing fine, but after a while she got the impression to check his blood pressure (there was no apparent reason to check it, he looked fine). It was dangerously low. She got on the phone and called the doctor, and he said he'd be there as soon as he could. Grammie replied "No, you need to get here now." And he did, and Brother Brown survived because of her quick reaction to the promptings of the Spirit and her insistence that the doctor come immediately. She is a neat lady.

My mom and her two sisters wrote a song that we all sang to her. Alex accompanied us on the guitar. We were very grateful for that. Lol. Here are the lyrics:

Ellie’s 80^th Birthday Song

(To the tune of “How to Save a Life” by The Fray)

Step One, gets out of bed by 6 o’clock.

Throws on her clothes, heads to the park.

Does her bends and stretches, no time to lose.

Has to hurry home to take a snooze.

Wakes up again, there’s lots to do.

Pay bills, do wash, and clean up too.

Looks at her watch, it’s almost noon.

Heads out to grab a Golden Spoon.

Where’d I leave my keys, I don’t recall.

Are they in my room or down this hall?

Been in my purse all along.

Who’d have thought to look where they belong?

Going home, gets lost – Oh what a mess.

She’s very grateful for that GPS.

Tries to solve the Jumble on her own.

Has to call Patricia on the phone.

She cannot ignore her family tree.

Gets to work on genealogy.

Time to run an errand for a friend.

Then a church meeting she’ll attend.

Where’d I leave my keys, I don’t recall.

Are they in my room or down this hall?

Been in my purse all along.

Who’d have thought to look where they belong?

As night begins to fall there’s more to do.

Has to brush her teeth and floss them too.

Takes about an hour for this chore.

Dental care ranks high for Eleanor.

Lays down to rest her weary head.

Little Grammie in a king‐sized bed.

We all love you ‐‐‐‐ that’s for sure

Happy birthday, love you, Ellie Muir!

After the party, we went and visited my Uncle Johnny. He's in his 90s and his health is declining. He lives in a skilled nursing facility that is run by nuns ("you know about these things?!") and it was a bit of a shock to see him in such a frail and agitated state. But these things happen, the dying experience is rarely graceful and never easy. It was good for me to see him, I said my goodbyes as I do not know that I will see him again. I told him to say hi to my grampa Muir (his brother), who I extra-missed that weekend.

On Sunday we were able to attend sacrament meeting with Grammie. It was fast and testimony meeting, and she got up and expressed her gratitude for our family and then bore her testimony of the gospel and the Savior. She said what a strength we are to her, as her other two daughters aren't active in the church at this time. I thought how strange it was for her to be thanking us! She is so strong and faithful. She is a pioneer woman! She single-handedly brought the gospel into our lives, and we can never thank her enough for that. I am grateful for the testimony that she bore that day and for the example she is every day!

Thanks for having a birthday, Grammie! Let's do it again when you turn 90! :)

Why you gotta act like you know when you don't know

Conversation today:

(G is my internship boss and he called me to find out how many people I'd gotten to commit to come to workshop on Wednesday morning)

g: Hi, Laura. Have you been able to get a best-guess count for Wednesday's workshop?

me: Yes, so far I've gotten 8 solid yeses from those I've talked to.

g: Great, did you email people as well?

me: Yep, and as those continue to trickle in I'll keep you updated.

g: Okay, have you spoken with Hilary about possible overlap between your two lists?

me: I don't know who Hilary is, so no. I can call her and find out though if you want.

g: Well I need to give Brad an estimate of how many people will be coming. Hilary has 13 and you have 8 but will any of those people be on both lists?

me: Well I just contacted those who filled out the BYU conference evaluations. Who did she contact?

g: I don't know, Legacy's clients I assume.

me thinking: ummmm...then why would there be any overlap if we're calling two completely separate lists? And what is Legacy?

me out loud: Okay...

g: I just don't want to tell him there will be so many people if your lists are the same.

me thinking: what is going on?

me out loud: well I can call Hilary and we can compare lists.

g: okay, that would be good.

me: how can I contact her?

g: just call Legacy and ask for her.

me: I don't know what Legacy is.

g: oh, let me text you the number.

me: great sounds good!

g: Yeah then just let me know if there is any repeats between the two lists.

I GET THE POINT!

And no, there were no repeats.

Thinking about This girl today.

She sends the most incredible Tuesday emails. Full of her charming personality and enthusiasm for serving the Lord's children. I love love LOVE when she uses "OH MYLANTA" or "buggin!" in her emails, because I know it is her. I look forward to reading them each week. She is happy and alive and vibrant and working hard. Why is it then, that reading things like this kinda sorta a little bit bothers me. (She is referring to a conference she had with Elder and Sister Pearson from the 70.)

Oh boy did he lay it on thick! Basically we were all rebuked for being crummy missionaries and not living up to our potential. It was a hard thing for me to hear (the wicked take the truth to be hard), but it was beneficial to my growth as a disciple of Jesus Christ. We were taught about how doubt often overcomes our faith (Faith - Disbelief = Net Faith). Faith is a gift from God. Just like any blessing from God, Faith is predicated upon our obedience. He talked about our focus. We get what we consistently focus on. "If you keep doing what you're doing you'll keep getting what you're getting." He said he feared that effective personal prayer was a big problem in this mission. It's has been one of my struggles too... of course that was my own fault. I left the conference completely exhausted, but SO ready to progress and change. I was not taking my discipleship seriously enough. I was content with the way things were going, I was not progressing, and I was not consecrating my whole self. I was also not willing to do whatever it takes to share the gospel. I wish you all could have been there so you could understand what I am talkiing about. It was amazing! Sister Pearson was incredible, I want to be like her! She's fiesty!!! For her talk, she yelled into the microphone as if she were a basketball coach, "If you are happy, NOTIFY YOUR FACE!!!! This is the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Gospel of GOOD NEWS!!!" I guess that is a good metaphore for the conference. I felt like we were all in the locker room at half time. We had not been playing at our full capacity, and so the coach was pleading for us to do better. Only.... Elder and Sister Pearson spoke by the power of the Holy Ghost. Anyway, it was really intense and wonderful. And now I am really working on changing!

What bothers me is not what message Elder Pearson is trying to convey. Missionaries always need to be refocused so they work harder and better. They need to be guided and counseled and advised by inspired leaders. What I do not like is that she felt like she was being told she was a crummy missionary. How she felt she was wicked because they "take the truth to be hard." How she felt she wasn't taking her discipleship seriously enough. Ugh. You are not a crummy missionary Alyssa! I know that because of the kind of person that you are. You are beautiful, hard-working, empathetic, kind, sincere, compassionate, patient, funny, and good sister with a powerful testimony of the gospel. And I know without any doubt that those characteristics also define you as a missionary.

Now, before I continue may I say that I am completely comfortable with the fact that we need to and should feel guilt on a regular basis. It helps us change. I also believe that we all can and should do more each day to be better disciples of the Lord Jesus, and I believe that is what Elder Pearson was trying to say.

I had terrible "numbers" on my mission. I taught 6 people who were baptized. That's averages to one every three months. My second mission president, Presidente Spitale encouraged us and promised us that it was possible to have at least one baptism per traslado. We were very strongly encouraged to make that our goal. Entonces, at conferences or other meetings I would inevitably go through exactly what my sister is talking about here, feeling guilty that I wasn't witnessing more baptisms. I felt that wasn't "exactly obedient" and that's why I wasn't as successful as others. There were missionaries who reached and even surpassed what Pte. Spitale recommended. He praised them and they taught us workshops about how to improve our success with investigators. They were admired and revered for being such excelente misioneros. Upon further acquaintance, however, I found some of them to be less than admirable. One such elder I never actually met, but came into 3 different areas just after he left them, and therefore had the responsibility of supporting and continuing to teach his converts. He left a trail of adoring young women, who were constantly asking us for information about him. One chica would give us risque love letters that the sin verguenza wouldn't even seal (and obviously my compa and I were sin verguenzas too and read every word of them. lol). Not one of these converts ever attended church again after this particular elder left the area. Is this how we define a successful missionary?

And that long side not leads me to my point.

But I don't appreciate this missionary mentality-- that success is defined by the number of people we baptize. Of course we need to get people to commit to baptism, but that's not allllll the work entails. I look back at my mission and I have NO regrets about the actual work I did. I worked HARD. Along with searching for people to bring into the gospel I went visiting teaching, I visited menos actives, I visited the elderly, I spent time with active members and their families, I talked to people about their lives, I listened, I took care of people when they were sick, I had FUN, I ate waaaaay too much dulce de leche, I noticed the sunsets, I was aware of my surroundings (I was in ARGENTINA after all!) and possibly most importantly I learned to love each of my companions. Some days we didn't leave the house, and yet the work of the Lord continued as we dealt with these various trials. I used to worry about the people who would never come to know the gospel because we weren't out knocking doors. That mentality is selfish at best. The Lord would never keep his children from knowing the truth because my companion was having a hard time and I needed to help her (or vice versa). His work is so much bigger and so much more than that.

Alyssa Rose, I hope that you are not being too hard on yourself, but maybe it's all part of the process. You are better than you think you are.